i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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