I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
