I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
as a side note pls kill me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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