i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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