the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
