True but thats because hes a fetus.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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