Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
