There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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