do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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