Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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