Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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