Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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