I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
honey bunches of taint.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
