That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize