If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
