I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
