I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
