Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize