Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We need to rekindle our bromance
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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