he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
