Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
