I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
