I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
