You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
