We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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