He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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