My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
