I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
