omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
