It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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