He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
