I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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