Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
