I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
