just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
