Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
false alarm. still invincible.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
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