if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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