Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
