Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
