Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
