I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
