who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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