This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
