sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
