never play flip cup with pint glasses
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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