dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
