Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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