dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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