I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
