I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
