sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
