I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
