he wants to bone in the snuggie
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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