You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
As shirtless as possible
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
