He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
