I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
