I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
