I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
