Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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