No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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