i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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