the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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