Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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