I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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