this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
