so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
